always speak your mind

got talking with a friend last night all about my "glorious" past

back in jr. high

and then she asked me

"so what happened? how come you are not doing any of the leadership role stuff now"

i don't know

what happened?

i've always been that kid who spoke my mind

always so involved

but this year i have not done anything

i guess i've been lazying around

not cool

this is not who i am

i should be the one doing everything

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

on the other note

i got up super early this morning

its nice to get up so early

breathing in the first batch of fresh of the day

+

the wonderful aroma of starbucks

reminded me of all the early band morning rehearsals

i miss that

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i wanna do marketing

been talking about marketing in music industry lately

damn i wanna do marketing for this

it will be so perfect for me

and so much fun

so challenging

now i just need to know what i need to do to get there

sounds pretty easy?

holding onto the past

for some reason i really can't sleep tonight

all i could think about when i closed my eyes

was all the little details from my hometown

how to get to my house

how to get to my grandparents house

how to get to my middle school

so much information

curiosity

as well as memories

just flooded my mind

i remembered how i used to walk to the market with my mom

getting snacks from all those different places after school

play basketball with the boys at the courtyard in the hospital

i guess i'm just excited to go back to china for the summer

cuz there's so much i want to do

i wanna visit my old apartment

ride a bike and go to all the places i used to go

get the same kind of snacks like i used to

oh i feel so silly for reminiscing the things i used to do already

since i'm only 18 years old

so i got all excited about china so i decided to look up pictures from where i used to live

but nothing came up

couldn't even find any picture for that community

luckily i found my old school's website

and found some familiarity that i was looking for

but they really do a bad job at the website

there's barely any information

but i found a picture of my old friend there

which is always comforting

and my old home room teacher's name on the teacher's honor roll

that made me smile

because she totally deserves it

music

usher's new album is coming out at the end of this month

and i'm guessing most of you don't know about it

i have been a huge fan of usher's since the first time i heard his music

and it's no secret that i have the hugest crush on him

but

what the EFF? he's stopped making good music

as much as i want to still enjoy his tracks

and just have that blinded faith in him

i don't think that grammy winner usher is gonna come back

at least with this album

the so called hit single "hey daddy" has not been played on the radio at all

it's even worse than "love in the club"

at least that song had some minimum play time

and i just listened to his new track "lil freak"

all i want to say is WHAT THE EFF?

it's got no usher in it

the beat is weird

the engineering of the song is weird

the tone is weird

it's like half auto-tuned but not really

USHER

DAMN MAKE SOME REAL SHIT MAN

AND WORK ON YOUR MARKETING STRATEGY!!

CUZ YOU ARE NOT GETTING ANY PUBLICITY

I WANT MY CONFESSION USHER BACK

dreammm

well i haven't really done anything this weekend

watched bunch of tv and movies

maybe i was just being super sensitive

or it was just pure coincidence

but there were alot of stuff on dreaming

almost in everything i watched this weekend

had some content in stressing the importance of dreams

always dream, and always be inspired

then you can live your life without regrets

and you will always have a direction to go

instead going through the motion of life without really looking at what you are doing

so dream

and chase after those dreams

despite what others may tell you

ahhh

shit i have no motivation to study

and the midterms are just couple days away

gotta get my shit together!!!!

so content

have you ever felt like you are just so happy with everything

everything around you

the people

the view

the friends

i most definitely felt this way today with 2 friends

suddenly i just couldn't stop smiling

it was that feeling coming from deep in your heart

and everything just felt so amazing and perfect

i wish there was certain thing as emotion capture

like a camera

it will capture the feelings you want to preserve for years

haha

love the gym!

been going to the gym a lot lately

love the feeling of being healthy =)

start

just talked to a friend whom i haven't talked to in a really long time

it's nice to talk to him again

anyway he reminded me about blogging

since i haven't touched this blog in a while

time to start blogging again?

i think so =)